This morning when I opened my Beth Moore study for the day and prayed that God would speak to me through His word, I found almost an answer to prayer.
Coming to University, I was hit with so many things I had never questioned before, but started to think about. Questions from myself, and others. Growing up in a christian home makes things almost harder, because I learn things, and that’s just the way they are. I felt as though there was no room for doubt in those old Sunday School windowless rooms. But then people, non-believers, started asking me questions. One of the ones that was the hardest to answer was, “Why does God let bad things happen?” Obviously, I know that it is not from God that these “bad things” come, we’re free people, living in a free country and this is what causes the mess to begin. Beth Moore put it so simply in her Day two devotional of ‘David’. Reading Psalm 52 is an account of The Steadfast Love of God from David’s point of view, in regards to Saul. Beth Moore relates this to her life, of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, when she had to preach the next day to a bunch of women in Oklahoma City and of how terrifying this was. She says God pretty much said the same kind of thing that David tells us was spoken to him in Psalm 52. From Beth Moore’s account:
"1. God is not the author of destruction 2. God will repay evil 3. Our hope must be in God 4. No matter how bad things look, God is good.”
God does not willingly afflict pain or harm to ANY of his children (Lamentations 3:33), but so many people that do not know the loving, faithful God that I do, get this soo mixed up. That’s why fists are shaken to the heavens when horrors like 9/11, the Oklaoma City bombing, or Columbine, happen. But really, the snow that is falling outside my window right now and waking up to a sunny day and seeing a new human being brought into our world. THOSE are from God. THOSE are the things that let us feel His great faithfulness, His abundant and everlasting Love, and the other things- the “bad things”, are from His enemy, trying his best to bring down our Amazing, Awesome God by telling people to shake their fists at the heavens, when we should really be shaking them the other way.
'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly!' - John 10:10
'For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.' - Psalm 100:5
“Colour is an integral element of a picture. Its use means much more than the mechanical recording of colours which the camera has heretofore blotted out. Just as music flows from movement to movement, colour on the screen… flowing from sequence to sequence, is really a kind of music.”—Robert Edmond Jones
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone.
To have a deep soul relationship with another.
To be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But GOD, to the Christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by ME alone!
With giving yourself totally unreservedly to ME!
To having an intensely personal and unique relationship with ME alone, discovering that only in ME is your satisfaction to be found, then will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with ME. Exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow ME to give you the most thrilling plan existing. One that you cannot imagine!
I want you to have the best. Please allow ME to bring it to you.
Just keep watching ME, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait. That’s all!
Don’t be anxious, don’t worry.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or want. You just keep looking off and away up to ME, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, ( I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time.)
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with ME, and is thus perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with ME, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with MYSELF.
Know that I love you utterly. I am EL SHADDAI (most loving).
Yesterday 4 of my greatest friends found a treasure of a house not even a 3 minute walk from our school! Why, you might ask, am I not included in this lovely beautiful little cottage of a home? Well…. with lots of thought and prayer I have come to the conclusion that i will be transferring to an art school fa show. This does not mean however that the square little house with the big red door will not be my home on most weekends :) Anyways, they are currently off to sign the lease!! After lots and lots of house searching, props to those girls for finding such a beauty of a place.
As for me, yesterday I enrolled in a Portfolio Session/Interview at Sheridan! :s My prayers are still continuing for that, but, I think the most important thing I need to remember is that God has it under control. And there absolutely is beauty in the unknown. He knows plans and secrets I could not even begin to fathom and that is so awesome! Only problem about my portfolio date is that it is the same day as a midterm… which i only noticed shortly after booking the date…oops! I’ll just have to pull out the sweet-talk when I chat with my prof to see if i can switch that!
Also, as my good friend danielle did here, I would like to make a shout out to my other wonderful amigo Heather for giving me the pleasure of wearing a beautiful butterfly on my wrist to always remember her by! And of course, that I am a bouckaert butterfly…joy.
oh yah. So my friend Jen and I are starting a sweet crochet company. We both are avid crocheters (i know… we’re the coolest). Headbands and hats is our specialty, BUT we will be providing the public with way cooler things than just that ;)
Our facebook page is in the process of being made, but when that baby’s up I’ll make sure to post a link so everyone can order some wonderful product (for chicks AND indie bros) kb.
"One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, ‘What do you expect to do?’ You don’t know what you’re going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to "go out" in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don’t know what God is going to do next." — Oswald Chambers
This was the devotional from yesterday and boy does it ring true to me right now in my life. I’ve been thinking for a couple months now that I want to transfer schools and head down a path that is much more geared towards me - fine arts. I didn’t know for so long if this was just me being selfish, and if my unhappiness in my school was a sign that I should leave, or just a sign that I’m not handling it properly. After LOTS of praying, I realized God wants me to be happy - if I’m not happy in the program that I am currently in, he doesn’t want me to slave away for the next three years and then come out of it just being able to say I now have a Bachelor of Arts.
So, I just finished re-applying to a few schools in the Toronto area for Graphic Design and Photography. Researching the various programs was getting me so excited and I realized THIS is what I have been missing in school this year - the drive and determination to DO the work I’m required to do.
I still have to finish my portfolio and get that out to the various schools that require one, but besides that I just wait. And as Oswald Chambers, quoted above, all I know is that GOD knows what He is doing. So, I just have to wait, and trust Him. As He tells me what He wants me to do - which is far more wonderful than worrying. kb.